My boys lack of attachment in the first few years of life was one of the hardest parenting struggles I have experienced so far. On November 12th 2024 it became to much for me. I recognized that I was struggling and called his father to come pick him up. My instincts told me that was the right thing to do for my boy.

I will add, though unrelated to the purpose of this post.. only one month later he started a trial of medication for epilepsy. The changes I witnessed were unbelievable and so unexpected. His personality exploded. He had thoughts and feelings. I hadn’t even recognized how flat he was until I saw how alive he could be. There were more possitive changes than I can write here but his attachment has been strong since.

The following is the turmoil that followed my call for help.

The context or beggining. The thing that happened.

The hell that followed. I genuinly dont know if I am to blame for this. I dont know if I am the problem. It’s been so hard for so long. There are countless more instances going back to 2020. Right or wrong I just want to make it make sense.

November 20th dad came to gymnastics. He told me a story about what had happened above that I didn’t recognize. This is not the first time he has told me things that were completely different than what I had thought, seen or experienced. It is constant. It is confusing.